Pandora Pirrup giggles giddily as she walks inside her home, waving at her leaving boyfriend before shutting the door. The girl turns around and walks to the couch, petting Lucy and Lucia on the way, where Bones is sitting already and the girl shrieks and giggles as shes pulled down by the aliens tail. Pandora giggles as she lands on the aliens lap and his lanky black arms wrap around her stomach as he places the bottom of his head on top of her blonde head, hissing happily at her.
Youve been hanging around dad too much if you think thats funny. Pandora says as she glances up with red eyes.
But hes my video game buddy. Bones says in a whiney voice.
Yeaaah, hes mah buddy.
Bones starts and looks up along with Pandora as Damien places his arms over the Xenomorphs decorated dome head. Pandora smiles at her father, who smiles back with a wide grin, exposing his two fanged teeth. The mans smile disappears and is replaced with mild shock and confusion when Bones grabs the back of the mans shirt and pulls him over the back of the couch. Damien lands with a light bounce on the open cushions of the couch with an oof, making Pandora laugh at him.
wasnt expecting that. Damien says as he lowers his head back to look at his teenage daughter and the alien.
Which is why it was funny. Bones tells him with a strange-looking grin.
Fuck you, man. Damien says as he pokes the side of Bones head.
The alien pokes the demons forehead, and the man pokes the alien back, the two going back and forth. Pandora watches in amusement as her father and her alien friend poke back and forth, covering her mouth as she tries to not laugh. Pip walks into the room and watches in confusion at Bones poking something, seeing its Damien once the man walks closer to the couch. The blonde sighs and shakes his head as Damien continues to poke the alien with an angry and determined look.
Pip says, staring in mild amusement, How did your date go, Pandora? The blonde asks his daughter as he continues to watch the poke war.
It was fun; we went skating at Starks Pond with a few other people. Pandora tells her mother as she looks over at him.
Speaking of dates, you cant give it up until at least three years, Panda. Damien states as he continues to poke the side of Bones head as the alien does the same to Damien, the Xenomorphs sharp claw making him bleed a bit.
What? Why three years? Pandora questions, grabbing Bones arm to stop the poking war.
Because that is how long Pip and I waited. Damien answers as he crosses his arms.
Not including the time you were gone. Pip mumbles as he places his head down over his arms on the top of the couch.
I cant believe I never asked, but when did you two meet, anyway? Pandora asks her parents.
Damien and Pip exchange a glance, Damien looks down with a grimace as the blonde stares at him with a waiting look. Pandora stares at her parents in confusion before glancing up at Bones, who looks at the girl and back at the two men.
Well, lets say we met with harsh words and left with a bang. Damien says as he rolls onto his side, avoiding Pips look.
What? Pandora questions, still confused.
When I introduced myself, I told him that everyone calls me Pip because they hate me, Pip answers, and he replied
Then I shall call you Pip. Damien finishes, changing his voice to sound extra high.
Pip begins chuckling as Damien does, the blonde placing his hands over his face at the memory of how silly the man sounded as a child. Pandora continues to feel left in the dark, but at least knowing something.
But daddy only calls people a nickname because he loves them. Pandora states, trying to clarify this.
I do now, and when I was a teen. I just said Id call him that because I hated everyone and everything. Damien explains, chuckling a bit.
Go cut yourself, emo kid. Bones scoffs, shaking his large dome head.
Damien and Pip both smack the aliens head, making him let out a whiney noise at being ganged up on. Pandora giggles at the alien as he waves his arm up at them as Damien does the same, doing a fake wimpy slap fight with only one hand each.
We first met in third grade. It was like a one-sided friendship on my side, until he hurt me and then just left. Pip says as he looks over at Pandora, who looks over at him.
The girl stares at the other blonde, bewildered at the prospect of her father managing to actually hurt her mother. She looks over at her father, still trying to wrap her head around it as he lowers his hand and rolls onto his back. The man sighs and closes his eyes as his face turns blank.
Yeah, thats pretty much what happened. The full story is that I hurt and killed and set things and people on fire, and none of the kids wanted anything to do with me, because I was the new kid. I was sent there by my dad to find Jesus and then they had a boxing match in which dad took a dive and won everyones money. Paid for this house. Pip and Pandora look around at the house for a moment before Damien continues,
Anyway, I was a spoiled and stupid brat, and I wanted to be accepted by the other kids. Pip mentioned that this one kid was only liked because he picked on Pip, so I decided to do the same. I used some demons and kinda turned Pip into a firework so that the kids would like me.
Pandora stares at her demon father silently, trying to digest the story. Pip sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose, apparently growing a headache from this story. Bones continues to remain silent, also wondering how such close wed men couldve had such a mean relationship back then.
But youre so close; I cant believe that you were so mean to mom. Pandora states, still confused.
Well, I still forgave Damien because he didnt hurt me just to hurt me. Everyone else in school did. Pip says.
Yeah, I was just a brat who did something mean to be accepted. Damien lifts his head and places his hands under his head.
But how did you make up? Bones questions, knowing Pandora is wondering the same thing.
Damien inhales deeply before sighing loudly, keeping his eyes closed and looking bored.
I came back to South Park when I was
fourteen. Spent three years being his just best friend Damien raises one arm from under his head to use air quotes on just best friend before placing it back under his head, Then we hooked up on like
a spur-of-the-moment sorta thing.
Watching V for Vendetta, I do believe. Pip comments, Damien nodding once.
Cant watch it without remembering what happened. Damien responds as he places both hands over his face.
Is that why you both left that one time we tried to watch it? Bones questions, both Damien and Pip nod at him.
But you always tell me that my first time shouldnt be just on impulse. Pandora says in an accusing and confused tone.
Damien sits upright and crosses his arms, turning to glare at his daughter with his red eyes, only getting the same glare from her.
Dont take that tone with us, missy. Were your parents and have full control over your life and decisions until youre an adult. Damien frowns with faked anger.
Pip shakes his head and walks around to the front of the couch, taking a seat between Damien and Bones, who still has Pandora on his lap. Damien immediately reaches out and wraps his arms around Pips middle as he falls onto his side and places his head on the blondes side, pulling his legs up to lie off of the side. The blonde ignores the clingy demon and instead focuses on Pandora.
Pandora, even though what happened with us worked out, that doesnt mean it all will for you. During most of that three-year friendship stage, we had both grown to love each other, but were too scared to admit it and ruin the friendship. Pip explains, Pandora nods, easily seeing how that works, Our relationship did start out all wrong, but by the point where we did first make love, we already were practically dating.
As the fat ass pointed out. Multiple times a day. For years. Especially after we did start dating. Damien mentions, still holding onto the blonde man.
Then you punched him in the face with a fire fist. Pip sighs and rubs his face.
I Falcon Punched him. Damien corrects with a self-satisfied smirk.
Pandora giggles at her fathers comment as Bones does, Pip just sighing and shaking his head. The girl gets up from the aliens lap when the phone rings and walks into the kitchen, picking it up and soon talking with a friend. Bones gets up from the couch and walks out of the room, Pip falling onto his side from the loss of the alien propping him upright. The demon smirks and moves himself up to drape himself fully over the blonde, wrapping his arms around the mans chest.
Damien nuzzles his head down into Pips neck as he smirks and whispers in the mans ear,
Wanna go watch V for Vendetta?
Pip shivers at both the underlying hints from the question and the demon speaking right next to his ear. Damien picks up on it and begins nipping at his husbands ear, making the man blush.
Ew! Go to your room if youre doing that! Pandora shouts from the kitchen, startling both men.
I think we better listen to her. Damien mumbles as he continues nipping the mans ear.
Damien and Pip vanish in a burst of fire, which somehow doesnt manage to catch on fire when they teleport away. Pandora sighs in relief at dodging having to witness something like her parents making out or something else like that.