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fanfiction by werewolf2456

literature by RatchetsGirl14

south park by queenofshadows1000




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Submitted on
September 19, 2009
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Pandora Pirrup giggles giddily as she walks inside her home, waving at her leaving boyfriend before shutting the door. The girl turns around and walks to the couch, petting Lucy and Lucia on the way, where Bones is sitting already and the girl shrieks and giggles as she’s pulled down by the alien’s tail. Pandora giggles as she lands on the alien’s lap and his lanky black arms wrap around her stomach as he places the bottom of his head on top of her blonde head, hissing happily at her.
“You’ve been hanging around dad too much if you think that’s funny.” Pandora says as she glances up with red eyes.
“But he’s my video game buddy.” Bones says in a whiney voice.
“Yeaaah, he’s mah buddy.”
Bones starts and looks up along with Pandora as Damien places his arms over the Xenomorph’s decorated dome head. Pandora smiles at her father, who smiles back with a wide grin, exposing his two fanged teeth. The man’s smile disappears and is replaced with mild shock and confusion when Bones grabs the back of the man’s shirt and pulls him over the back of the couch. Damien lands with a light bounce on the open cushions of the couch with an ‘oof’, making Pandora laugh at him.
“Okay…wasn’t expecting that.” Damien says as he lowers his head back to look at his teenage daughter and the alien.
“Which is why it was funny.” Bones tells him with a strange-looking grin.
“Fuck you, man.” Damien says as he pokes the side of Bones’ head.
The alien pokes the demon’s forehead, and the man pokes the alien back, the two going back and forth. Pandora watches in amusement as her father and her alien friend poke back and forth, covering her mouth as she tries to not laugh. Pip walks into the room and watches in confusion at Bones poking something, seeing its Damien once the man walks closer to the couch. The blonde sighs and shakes his head as Damien continues to poke the alien with an angry and determined look.
“Okay…” Pip says, staring in mild amusement, “How did your date go, Pandora?” The blonde asks his daughter as he continues to watch the poke war.
“It was fun; we went skating at Stark’s Pond with a few other people.” Pandora tells her mother as she looks over at him.
“Speaking of dates, you can’t give it up until at least three years, Panda.” Damien states as he continues to poke the side of Bones’ head as the alien does the same to Damien, the Xenomorph’s sharp claw making him bleed a bit.
“What? Why three years?” Pandora questions, grabbing Bones’ arm to stop the poking war.
“Because that is how long Pip and I waited.” Damien answers as he crosses his arms.
“Not including the time you were gone.” Pip mumbles as he places his head down over his arms on the top of the couch.
“I can’t believe I never asked, but when did you two meet, anyway?” Pandora asks her parents.
Damien and Pip exchange a glance, Damien looks down with a grimace as the blonde stares at him with a waiting look. Pandora stares at her parents in confusion before glancing up at Bones, who looks at the girl and back at the two men.
“Well, let’s say we met with harsh words and left with a bang.” Damien says as he rolls onto his side, avoiding Pip’s look.
“What?” Pandora questions, still confused.
“When I introduced myself, I told him that everyone calls me Pip because they hate me,” Pip answers, “and he replied”
“Then I shall call you Pip.” Damien finishes, changing his voice to sound extra high.
Pip begins chuckling as Damien does, the blonde placing his hands over his face at the memory of how silly the man sounded as a child. Pandora continues to feel left in the dark, but at least knowing something.
“But daddy only calls people a nickname because he loves them.” Pandora states, trying to clarify this.
“I do now, and when I was a teen. I just said I’d call him that because I hated everyone and everything.” Damien explains, chuckling a bit.
“Go cut yourself, emo kid.” Bones scoffs, shaking his large dome head.
Damien and Pip both smack the alien’s head, making him let out a whiney noise at being ganged up on. Pandora giggles at the alien as he waves his arm up at them as Damien does the same, doing a fake wimpy slap fight with only one hand each.
“We first met in third grade. It was like a one-sided friendship on my side, until he hurt me and then just left.” Pip says as he looks over at Pandora, who looks over at him.
The girl stares at the other blonde, bewildered at the prospect of her father managing to actually hurt her mother. She looks over at her father, still trying to wrap her head around it as he lowers his hand and rolls onto his back. The man sighs and closes his eyes as his face turns blank.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what happened. The full story is that I hurt and killed and set things and people on fire, and none of the kids wanted anything to do with me, because I was the new kid. I was sent there by my dad to find Jesus and then they had a boxing match in which dad took a dive and won everyone’s money. Paid for this house.” Pip and Pandora look around at the house for a moment before Damien continues,
“Anyway, I was a spoiled and stupid brat, and I wanted to be accepted by the other kids. Pip mentioned that this one kid was only liked because he picked on Pip, so I decided to do the same. I used some demons and kinda turned Pip into a firework so that the kids would like me.”
Pandora stares at her demon father silently, trying to digest the story. Pip sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose, apparently growing a headache from this story. Bones continues to remain silent, also wondering how such close wed men could’ve had such a mean relationship back then.
“But you’re so close; I can’t believe that you were so mean to mom.” Pandora states, still confused.
“Well, I still forgave Damien because he didn’t hurt me just to hurt me. Everyone else in school did.” Pip says.
“Yeah, I was just a brat who did something mean to be accepted.” Damien lifts his head and places his hands under his head.
“But how did you make up?” Bones questions, knowing Pandora is wondering the same thing.
Damien inhales deeply before sighing loudly, keeping his eyes closed and looking bored.
“I came back to South Park when I was…fourteen. Spent three years being his ‘just best friend’” Damien raises one arm from under his head to use air quotes on ‘just best friend’ before placing it back under his head, “Then we hooked up on like…a spur-of-the-moment sorta thing.”
“Watching V for Vendetta, I do believe.” Pip comments, Damien nodding once.
“Can’t watch it without remembering what happened.” Damien responds as he places both hands over his face.
“Is that why you both left that one time we tried to watch it?” Bones questions, both Damien and Pip nod at him.
“But you always tell me that my first time shouldn’t be just on impulse.” Pandora says in an accusing and confused tone.
Damien sits upright and crosses his arms, turning to glare at his daughter with his red eyes, only getting the same glare from her.
“Don’t take that tone with us, missy. We’re your parents and have full control over your life and decisions until you’re an adult.” Damien frowns with faked anger.
Pip shakes his head and walks around to the front of the couch, taking a seat between Damien and Bones, who still has Pandora on his lap. Damien immediately reaches out and wraps his arms around Pip’s middle as he falls onto his side and places his head on the blonde’s side, pulling his legs up to lie off of the side. The blonde ignores the clingy demon and instead focuses on Pandora.
“Pandora, even though what happened with us worked out, that doesn’t mean it all will for you. During most of that three-year friendship stage, we had both grown to love each other, but were too scared to admit it and ruin the friendship.” Pip explains, Pandora nods, easily seeing how that works, “Our relationship did start out all wrong, but by the point where we did first make love, we already were practically dating.”
“As the fat ass pointed out. Multiple times a day. For years. Especially after we did start dating.” Damien mentions, still holding onto the blonde man.
“Then you punched him in the face with a fire fist.” Pip sighs and rubs his face.
“I Falcon Punched him.” Damien corrects with a self-satisfied smirk.
Pandora giggles at her father’s comment as Bones does, Pip just sighing and shaking his head. The girl gets up from the alien’s lap when the phone rings and walks into the kitchen, picking it up and soon talking with a friend. Bones gets up from the couch and walks out of the room, Pip falling onto his side from the loss of the alien propping him upright. The demon smirks and moves himself up to drape himself fully over the blonde, wrapping his arms around the man’s chest.
Damien nuzzles his head down into Pip’s neck as he smirks and whispers in the man’s ear,
“Wanna go watch V for Vendetta?”
Pip shivers at both the underlying hints from the question and the demon speaking right next to his ear. Damien picks up on it and begins nipping at his husband’s ear, making the man blush.
“Ew! Go to your room if you’re doing that!” Pandora shouts from the kitchen, startling both men.
“I think we better listen to her.” Damien mumbles as he continues nipping the man’s ear.
Damien and Pip vanish in a burst of fire, which somehow doesn’t manage to catch on fire when they teleport away. Pandora sighs in relief at dodging having to witness something like her parents making out or something else like that.
I guess this is to help ease you all from that Cole/Alex aka Infamous/Prototype slash I've been doing.

So YEAH, Dip, once again. Getting back into things, but not so smoothly. As Alex and Cole have hijacked my mind like the fucked-up villains they are and decided they're keeping it hostage for a while. Damien and Pip and Super Smash Bros Brawl guys are there as well, since I do think of Wolf/Lucario and the others in SSBB often, actually.
There are epic battles for the position of who is in the front of my head, and InfamousPrototype is winning with sex scenes.

Believe it or not, but I think of yaoi more than I lead on and write. I'm pervy >w> :iconpervplz:
SUPER PERV
LIKE
MAKE STRAIGHT MEN CRY AND FALL TO THE FETAL POSITION PERV

All Characters (c) owners
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:iconshadow-wing-darkstar:
Shadow-Wing-Darkstar Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Lol falcon punch
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:iconemi-the-awesome-chic:
OMG :I falcon punched him.." I was waiting for that line...i lol'd...HARD
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:iconfreeflyingwolf:
freeflyingwolf Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009
...FFF in the story about the Chick version Damien/Pip, I had a continuation where the Chick!Damien falcon paunch Kenny for flirting with her.
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:iconemi-the-awesome-chic:
..THATS AWESOME
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:icontazrrr:
tazrrr Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2009
sorry for like the three comments in one night but this is awesomeee!


your like the best dip writer out there :D
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:iconfreeflyingwolf:
freeflyingwolf Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2009
I try. X3

(Is totally humble) >w>
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:iconemochuckyfan666:
EmoChuckyFan666 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2009
That was great! That was a beautiful story!
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:iconfreeflyingwolf:
freeflyingwolf Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2009
Thanks
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:iconemochuckyfan666:
EmoChuckyFan666 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2009
I love reading Dip! *giggles*
Damien: Oh, god, not Dip again! We're just friends, okay? We have the same wife!
Pip: Oh, dear... *facepalms*
Donald: I saw a leperchaun. He tols me to burn things!
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:iconfreeflyingwolf:
freeflyingwolf Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2009
FFFFFFFFFFF LISTEN TO THE LEPRECHAUN
I'LL JOIN WITH MOLOTIV COCKTAILS

Psh, no one is believing that for a SECOND, Damien. Especially not about Pip. Seriously, you gaiz, you can't be gayer if you went metrosexual again....wait Damien wansn't around for that.

Craig looked like a stupid ass in that episode.
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